Well guys, Alex and I are celebrating five years of (mostly) wedded bliss today! 🙂 Time flies!
I always love taking a little bit of time on our anniversary to look through photos and relive the day — it was so special, so much fun, and it was one hell of a celebration with our loved ones. As cliche as it is, getting married was what really sparked my love for weddings!
I actually didn’t have a wedding coordinator for our wedding, but our venue contact was so great and did most of the heavy lifting for us. As perfect as the day was to me at the time and even looking back at it, there were some things that weren’t quite perfect in reality. And hey, that’s okay — life isn’t perfect either! Right? A few years ago I wrote the following blog post about the little things leading up to the wedding that tried to get in our way, but we didn’t let them.
So, if you’re in wedding countdown mode and you find yourself stressing out about silly things, fighting with your fiance over the seating chart, or trying too hard to please everyone, know that you’re not alone. That happens! Shake it off, take a deep breath, focus on what’s important (the fact that you’re about to marry your best friend!), and enjoy the ride. Wedding planning should be fun!
so what do you when you are sure you thought of everything that could have gone wrong, you’ve come up with a foolproof plan, and something still goes wrong? you keep on keepin’ on! things that go wrong keep your planning process interesting. how boring would this be if everything went right?
me personally? towards the end of it all the bridal party (mainly the guys, i think) starting calling me a bridezee. what is this, you ask? it’s not a full blown bridezilla, but it’s like… you’re treading the bridezilla waters. you’ve got a toe in that pond. you have only earned the ‘z’. i am just an overcommunicator, okay! i wanted to make sure everyone knew where to be and when, and what to do. i really believed i’d thought of everything.
so for bridesmaid dresses, i went through this shop located in minneapolis, minnesota at random. obviously we’re not all going to travel there to see dresses live and try them on, so it’s an online purchase. i knew i wanted long dresses, i knew what color, and i wanted everyone in the same style of dress. but i wanted each bridesmaid to make it a little bit ‘their own’ by choosing from a few different fits/necklines. i sent everyone the info and gave them an idea of when they should order. i didn’t place a group order on anyone’s behalf.
the first hiccup occurred when a bridesmaid called me a couple months or so before her dress was scheduled to arrive, and said something like “now that i have it solved, i have to tell you a story.” ehhh okay. turns out the designer of those particular dresses decided to take a summer hiatus and close her shop, and cancel my friend’s order. lovely! maybe because it was already figured out (she’d already called them demanding this be fixed, and if memory serves me they had one dress to send her in a different size than she originally ordered, but she accepted!), i stayed calm. i was telling her that “we would have found something similar!” but… that’s probably because i knew we didn’t have to deal with it anyway.
next, a few WEEKS before the wedding a friend said… “weird, i still haven’t gotten my dress. i’ll give them a call tomorrow.” i said, “yeah! you better!” she got on the phone with them and learned that they thought she hadn’t placed her order in time to receive by our wedding date, so they did not follow through with the order. apparently they had emailed her about it. however, no one at the shop thought it might behoove them to give my friend a CALL. she hadn’t replied, she hadn’t expressed concern, and she was clearly in a wedding. didn’t they find it strange that she didn’t touch base with them to figure out a solution? i mean, i’m not kidding. this was about four weeks before the wedding. LUCKILY my sister had ordered a style she didn’t like, and then ordered a second dress. she had to wait until she received the new one, and then send the first one back. she hung on to it a little longer than she should have to make sure she liked the new one. my dress-less bridesmaid ended up wearing this dress – phew! i don’t think it was her first choice, and she tweaked it a little to make it fit her better, but hey! don’t know what we would have done otherwise. i guess we just would have done what i thought we’d do with incident #1 – “look for something similar”. then, not to mention, since orders were placed individually they were not all from the same dye lot. when i read about this before sending the info to the girls i thought, “how different can it really be? come on.” well one bridesmaid dress was hot pink while the others were coral. you know what? who really cares. there are more important things to think about. and a great photographer can touch everything up so you won’t even notice in photos!
we arrived to arizona on tuesday before our saturday wedding. i believe we went to the tux shop on wednesday to pick up whichever tuxes had arrived at that point – dads, groomsmen and groom. went back thursday for the others, and there was still no tux for alex. hmmm. so we chat with them and learn they had cancelled my husband’s order. to this day, still not sure why. they also sent one of our groomsmen TWO tuxes because, well, that’s helpful. they apologized and overnighted a tux for the groom. i mean, hope it fits! if it doesn’t… it’s the day before your wedding, so…
the important thing to remember is that as long as the problem ends up solved, it’s no longer a problem. with the dresses – for bridesmaid #1 they sent her a dress. was it the size she needed, and did it require extra alterations? no, and yes. but she had a dress. for bridesmaid #2 – they didn’t fix the problem for us, but the problem was fixed one way or another. we’ll leave it at that. for my hubby, they took ownership of the problem and overnighted us what we needed.
i had also forgotten all about the concept of exercise before the wedding. most brides do the opposite and chain themselves to treadmills but i guess i figured, hey, my dress is poofy on bottom. baby got back. as long as my arms look toned and i don’t have chipmunk cheeks, i’m cool. which is why i accidentally subsisted off of energy drinks alone for about a week before the wedding! anyway, thursday before our wedding as i was hanging around home i decided to go for a six mile run in the sun (to our venue and back). i thought it would make up for all exercise lost and make me feel good. it made me feel great! it also gave me a horrid racerback/scoop neck tan line that was bound to look fabulous with my wedding dress. my sister and i, after pedicures and pool time on friday, hit up a tanning salon. although i’ve been tanning many times before i didn’t want to do anything idiotic the DAY before the wedding, like fry myself or burn off the top layer of my skin. so even though it was dumb, we asked a ton of questions and the girl helping us recommended the best bed and length of time for what i needed. it was perfect. tan lines went away, and i was actually a perfect amount of tan for the wedding! i am albino by nature so yes, believe it or not, i was tan in those pictures. problem solved.
then, flower woes. we had six beautiful shepard’s hooks to line the aisle, and before the wedding we had to give the florist all vases to be filled, so they could bring them by and just put each where it needed to be. this included the mercury glass ‘inserts’ for the shepard’s hooks. alex and i were wrapping up some pictures by the ceremony site before the wedding, and the woman who was delivering and setting everything up called me over. “oh, i’m so sorry, honey. this has never happened.” just what you want to hear, right? whatever box or vessel they used to transport these vases for the hooks obviously didn’t work for one of them. she opened it up and it was totally shattered. awesome. they used four of the hooks at the front and back of the aisle, and in place of the center hooks – because we now only had one standing – they improvised and tied the bundle of flowers to a chair. i actually wasn’t mad. again, just fix it. that’s all i want – a solution that looks nice. and they did fix it. and it did look nice.
i also figured that a veil was very unimportant, so i didn’t give it the time of day. i planned on wearing it for thirty minutes at our ceremony, maybe snapping a few pics in it, and doing away with it for the evening. so naturally, instead of spending hundreds of dollars on the thing i went to amazon.com and bought some basic veil for $19.99. big spenda! the problem with CHEAP wedding accessories is that they are of CHEAP quality. the comb weighed about 37 pounds. thirty minutes before the ceremony i had a minor panic attack because i tried to put this god forsaken veil in my hair, and i felt like it was weighing down my updo and ruining my meticulously crafted hair. no, not the hair! so i took it off and decided to go sans veil. well, then my mom made it clear she wanted me in a veil, so i started to throw a tantrum. at the end of the day i didn’t want to wear something i was going to be self conscious in and worrying about my entire walk down the aisle, and throughout the entire ceremony. if you don’t FEEL comfortable you’re not going to LOOK comfortable. i went ‘no veil’ and was happier for it. i’m the bride, dammit. done – problem solved!
i’m sure, looking back, there were plenty of other hiccups. but none of it had any impact to our wedding, the planning, how we felt before the wedding or on the big day. there were little issues we had to solve, but as long as you have the mentality that it CAN and WILL be solved, and that nothing is capable of ruining your day, you’ll be okay. i believe wedding bliss is all about your attitude! if you approach things with a negative attitude, feeling like every little task is a huge chore or that it’s not going exactly how you want it to go, these little bumps in the road become real roadblocks and problems. your attitude can impact whether you have fun with everything, or whether you let people’s opinions get the best of you. nobody puts baby in a corner – except yourself. put on your rose-colored glasses. imperfections are perfect. if you have a positive attitude and approach these things with patience, knowing you’ve just gotta swerve around and find an alternative or a fix, you’ll be much happier for it! nothing is worth ruining your day.
this too shall pass
Things happen to the best of us, but don’t get hung up on it, and don’t let anything ruin a super special and exciting time in your life. If all goes according to plan, you only do this once. You’ll want to look back at your engagement fondly, remembering how much fun you had and how excited you were to tie the knot! Not how you wanted to cut a b&%$#. Amirite?
The moral of the story is to not stress out. The underlying moral of the story is to hire a wedding coordinator. We serve as moral support, an idea-bouncer-offer, an unbiased opinion, and the person who seamlessly handles any hiccups with grace the week and day of your wedding. Your job is to just enjoy your day. Not a terrible job to have, right?
…. and then I’m going to shamelessly share a few of my own wedding photos with you, while I’m walking down memory lane. Enjoy! Or don’t! Okay, it’s more than a few. I have zero restraint.